


A LOVE Story

by FahcLove



Series: Stories Of Abstemiousness [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Abusive Parents (mentioned), Accoutant Ryan, Aphobia, Asexual Character, Asexual Gavin, Charity Worker Ray, Cutting (mentioned), Death, Demiboy Ray, F/M, M/M, Movie Prouducer Geoff, OCD Ryan, Panic Attacks, Pansexual Character, Pansexual Meg, Pilot Michael, Sex workers, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, This is really sad, Trans Jack, Waitress Jack, dont read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-25 08:13:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7525093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FahcLove/pseuds/FahcLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Different Type Of LOVE:</p><p>Lost<br/>Oblique<br/>Vacant<br/>Empty</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I have been working on this for a few months, and finally, I finished. I'm so proud of myself. 
> 
> (Check out the playlist I made for this story [here](http://8tracks.com/kenz-the-awesome/a-love-story))

**_Lost_ **

_It was so sweet at first, too sweet, Gavin knew, but he ignored it, instead drinking in the happiness and the joy he felt every day._

He wasn't always happy, glad to be alive, full of joy ever morning. Instead, he was sad, lost, friendless, lonely, scared of everything. Scared of his anyone knowing anything about his personal life, throwing on a mask, always acting happy.

Back then was full of confused sex, trying new drugs, trying to keep grades up.

Parents were never a problem. They were more like shadows than actual living things, but Gavin didn't mind. It made it easier to mess around, easier to tempt death when he grabbed prescription drugs and mixed them with some crack or weed he was given by one of his various drug dealers.

The only safe thing in his life was Dan.

Dan, with his warm grey eyes that always seemed to be filled with honesty, who gave him his favorite green scarf for his birthday, was a shoulder to lean on, someone to confide in, someone who Gavin wasn't scared of talking to, who Gavin wasn't scared of calling at 1 am after sex because "I don't feel anything. They love me and I feel _empty_." He was the first one who actually helped Gavin out, showing up at school the next morning with definitions of the word "asexual" and "aromantic". He helped Gavin find himself in his lost world.

Then he left, going off to fight in the war, a war Gavin never even payed attention to. Why would trivial things such as the death of people he didn't know concern him while he was finally finding purpose in his life?

It didn't.

Until Dan decided that was his job, to fight in something that probably won't matter a few decades from now.

Suddenly, it felt like the ground he was standing on was pulled from under him. His best friend, his B, was leaving him, for a _war_? Maybe he was being selfish, but how could Dan not see how _lost_ he was without him, his bright light in this world, his best friend?

"Dan, please, if you need a job we can find one here!" he pleaded, but Dan wasn't having it.

"B, I know this is hard, but it's what I want to do. Talking to people, that's your thing, but _saving_ people, that's my calling."

 _How can he not see that the real person he was saving was me?_ Gavin helplessly thought, the words dying on his lips as he tried to grab his best friends new army jacket, feeling the fresh texture against his fingertips.

"Please, B, we can figure something out! You can't leave me-" he started, but Dan turned around, angry.

"I can't leave _you_?!? Are you so selfish that you don't even respect _my_ choices? Not because I could _die_ , but because of you?! I knew you were a little self-centered, but not this much! This is _my_ choice, _my_ career that I have chosen, don't try to get in my way because of your silly needs! Remember when you told me you'd always respect _me_ in any choice _I_ made? What happened to that? I'm leaving."

And with that, he left, soft grey eyes turning darker than concrete as he slammed his door shut, leaving Gavin in a crying heap in the middle of their - Gavin's now - apartment.

The next few weeks were a blur for him. Most of the time he was in a sniffling heap, looking at old pictures of him and Dan, trying to reach through the photo and grab his soft black hair that seemed to stick up at every angle, staring into Dan's eyes, every once in a while flashing to the hateful grey - almost black - they had turned when he left.

He left.

He _left._

 _Dan_ left.

_Dan left him._

Dan wasn't coming back.

Gavin was alone for the first time in a while.

He was _lost_.

More than once he sat in a heap, scarf wrapped around his small frame, scratching his wrists until they turned red, fingernails imprinted on his skin for a few minutes, then they were gone again.

He wished he wasn't weak. Just wanted to grab the razor and dig it into his skin until it bled, to the bone.

But he was weak, and instead scratched himself until his self-loathing went away.

But it never did.

So, he used his second coping method, sex. It became his job, selling himself for money. It wasn't hard, he was a lithe thing, soft and young, with an innocent face. He attracted guys, girls, and everything in between.

He had to pay the bills somehow, and, with this, he tried to see if he was still broken.

He was.

He still couldn't feel anything, just a hollow pang in his chest or the lie that danced across his lips when on of his "employers" asked he was having fun. He wasn't. He was having as much fun as someone would be at the dentists, except this dentist would always whisper about how awful, how ugly, how _broken_ he is, how he doesn't deserve this job, how he should just go _die_.

A few months later, after being caught by one of his "customers" for stealing some of their money, he was saved by what he could only describe then as an angel.

Burnie was anything but an angel in his eyes, but in Gavin's, he was a holy being sent down from heaven.

The man saved him from his dark life, moving him from the slums of London to Austin, Texas, and showing him real pleasures in life, like video games and photography. They were only together for a few months, but it was the best months in Gavin's life since Dan left.

Burnie was full of laughs, with soft dark brown hair and milky chocolate eyes that seemed to turn to a warm golden brown when he was happy.

But, like most people in Gavin's life, he left too, being called for a job interview in California and never showing up on the returning flight back to Texas, no matter how many times Gavin said "the computers must be wrong he has to come home!"

Gavin was alone again, lost again and even less of a clue on what he should do than last time.

But, one this was for certain, people will just use and abuse him, no one actually cares for his well being.

It took years of working at various movie sets to finally be hired by the "big guys" in Hollywood. He was to be working on a movie set for around three months, then either heading back to Texas or staying and working with them full time.

He chose to stay in Hollywood. It's not like he had anything waiting for him in Texas.

He was a nightmare to work with, he knew what the others said. He was good at faking it to his bosses and higher ups, but to some of the actors and other cameramen, he didn't bother being nice to them. They were just going to leave him anyway.

Then, the one of the main actors fell in love. It was gossip around the set for weeks, but Gavin didn't bother paying attention, it's not like the actor liked him or anything, hopefully.

Luck wasn't on his side, it never was.

The actor, named Jeremy, was the shortest out of pretty much everyone in the entire set, and was loudest. He had short brown hair that reminded Gavin of Burnie's, and hazel eyes that seemed to slip between chocolate brown and dark green.

Jeremy cornered him on a Friday, while Gavin was packing all of his equipment up, getting ready to leave.

"Uh, hey Gavin," Jeremy stuttered out, one hand awkwardly scratching the back of his head, the other firmly planted behind his back.

"Oh hey Jeremy, can I help you with anything?" Gavin never hated him, he was actually one of the only actors he tolerated, so he put on a smile, and watched as Jeremy visibly relaxed.

"Well, I, uh, wanted to know if you, uh, wanted to go out to dinner tonight, maybe, um, see a movie or something?" he stuttered out, pulling his hand from behind his back, revealing a bouquet of flowers with a note that read "Gavin" in fancy letters.

Gavin's heart sank. Why, why, why did he have to fall in love with _him_ , out of all people? He wasn't even that attractive! He was just a boring person who didn't deserve any love.

He stared at the flowers in Jeremy's hand, trying to feel something, but he just felt lost.

He had to put him down softly, so he won't be accused of leading him on later. "Sorry Jeremy, I, uh, actually have, um, a, boyfriend back in England, who's, uh, supposed to visit this summer, sorry," he lied, and, finishing putting away all the equipment, almost sprinted out of the movie set, leaving Jeremy alone with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and tears in his eyes.

Jeremy showed up the next day with red eyes consoled by another actor, Matt. He and Gavin made eye contact for a few seconds, before Gavin look away, cursing himself for being so like-able.

That night he scratched his face until he finally made a cut down his right cheek from the corner of his right eye. It wasn't big, but it was big enough to scare people away, at least he hoped. But, a few weeks later, the cut was gone.

Jeremy dropped the movie a few weeks later, and, according to Matt, moved to Washington. Matt soon joined him after the movie ended.

He could hear the voices of the other members of the set calling him out for "leading Jeremy on" and "making him quit" and "if he'd only gone on a date with him, this wouldn't have happened". Those phrases were echoed though his mind the rest of the time he worked on the movie, on repeat, no matter what happened that week, they were always said.

_It's all your fault_

_Just play along_

_You're broken_

_You're the one to blame_

_"It's all my fault."_

Gavin grew a beard. A small fluffy one that itches every time he went to touch his face. He hated it, but he knew it made him just a little more unappealing. Maybe, if he shaved his head, no one would ever give him a second glance. Gavin never tried, he couldn't imagine the light brown pile on top of his head all gone.

After the movie ended, Gavin floated around, working on different movies, while also working on his own personal project, videotaping things exploding in slow-motion.

He set up a YouTube channel, where he would talk into a mic for a minute over some other video he filmed, explode something, replay it in slow-motion, and get millions of views and subscribers. Soon he was one of the most popular channels on the small website.

People would email him questions, and Gavin found that it was very easy to talk to people through a screen. It was easier online for him to put on a mask, to act like nothing was bothering him, to act like he was in a perfect house, had a perfect family, and was living the perfect life. No one even knew the truth. The truth that he was dying inside.

Then, he managed to buy the video games that he learned he loved when he was with Burnie. He would play them until dawn, finding out that they were a very good way to silence the nagging voices in his head with gunshot sounds and the shouting of other people on servers.

His face wasn't ever seen in his videos and on Skype calls, only having his voice heard. At first, it was a security tactic, in case someone saw him and wanted to go after him, or if a crazed fan tackled him in the middle of Starbucks. But, it soon became more than that. If no one saw his face, then, no one could love him! It was a foolproof plan, at least, until he got invited to a panel or something, but he can always deny those.

He doesn't know who he's protecting anymore with this, the fans or himself. Does it really matter? At least he's protecting someone from his destructive self.

Despite all that, he was finally at peace, resting comfortably with a good job, fun activities outside of said job, and a decent income. It seemed like luck was finally on his side


	2. Oblique

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Tw for Attempted Suicide**   
>  **Tw for a Panic Attack**   
>  **Tw for Aphobia**
> 
> I was going to upload this tomorrow, but I couldn't wait. I hope everyone is enjoying this so far!!

**_Oblique_ **

_With them, life was easy, fun. He finally felt like he belonged, a feeling only felt back when he was with Dan. He felt like his broken puzzle piece had finally fit somewhere._

Dan never left his mind, not really. He would show up around midnight usually, when Gavin would be thinking about everything that happened that day, or week.

He wasn't a hallucination, Gavin wasn't schizophrenic, "Dan" was more of a voice of self-loathing.

"I left you for a reason, you know," he would say, in Gavin's voice, but he always assumed it was Dan. It seemed logical anyway.

"You don't _deserve_ anyone. You just destroy everything in your way, like a grenade."

It was cheesy, Gavin knew; he'd seen the commercials for that one love story where the girl says "I'm a grenade, Whatever-the-boy's-name-was," but apparently his brain didn't think so.

Still, it was true. Every time he befriended someone, it was like they pulled the pin without knowing, and he was just waiting for the explosion. Waiting for them to be blown away from the blast, leaving him all alone.

It always happened, but it seemed that God didn't care. Maybe not God, maybe fate, or a evil spirit. Maybe it was just him.

Gavin never really believed in God, the only time he did was with Burnie. But that ended very quickly. He wasn't even a voodoo type or someone who believes in supernatural beings, he was a type of person who took the blame for himself. Maybe everything is his fault.

That's where the cleaning lady for the hotel he was staying in found him, curled up on the floor covered in blankets, almost in a comatose state.

But, if Burnie was a angel, Barbara had to be a god. When she found him, instead of leaving him, she picked him up, blankets the only thing covering his body and Gavin was thankful he weighed so little, as she took him to her house, laying him on her bed as she went back to work.

That's where he awoke, laying in a unknown bed in a fancy apartment, his filming equipment to the side, freshly washed clothes and his familiar green scarf laying on top of the red suitcase he bought when he finally had too many clothes for a shopping bag that he used.

Hurriedly, he threw on the clothes, and slowly left the room. On the kitchen table was a cat piano that meowd when you pressed it, and a note. It read:

"Sorry about taking out of your room, I had to clean it. Make yourself at home, I'll be home around six. Don't make a mess cause I don't wanna clean it. Do you like my piano? It's a paw-ful!  
-Barbara"

Gavin let out a chuckle at the last line, and before he realized it, he was on the floor in a hysterical mess, laughing until his sides hurt. It's been a very, very long time since he genuinely laughed.

After his laughing breakdown, he looked around. Barbara's apartment wasn't super big, but it was the biggest one he's been in in a while. Burnie lived in a rental house, so that didn't count.

Not wanting to intrude too much, he sat on the couch, waiting for Barbara to come home. Sure, it was only three, but he can be patient, right?

So he waited.

The first hour was easy, he took that time to scan the room around him. It was a nice pale blue color, with accents of yellow and magenta in pillows and blankets, along with different colored patterns of all the same ink-blotches. It vaguely reminded him of his grandparent's house.

There were a pile of books next to a shelf, also covered in books. Gavin almost got up to read one of them, but changed his mind.

After soaking in the room, Gavin had two more hours left before Barbara came home.

He decided to figure out how he managed to get here. He remembered having a horrible nightmare about going back to elementary school in England, and all the kids mocking him because he was too old, too _stupid_ to be there, but other than that, he had no idea why Barbara wanted to take him and his belongings to her house. Out of pity? Maybe she wanted to rob him. That seemed like a reasonable idea. Maybe she knew Burnie and was taking him to him? That was a lie and Gavin knew it. Burnie didn't want him anymore.

Nobody wanted him.

Barbara probably didn't want him either, when she actually got to know him, but maybe this time will be different.

The last hour he just sat in silence, thinking of everything and nothing at once, nothing sticking.

When Barbara came home, a hour late, she found him sitting on her couch, fast asleep, clinging the cat piano. Smiling, she put a blanket over him, and carried him to her bed, softly singing a song she doesn't remember learning.

Gavin woke up the next morning, again in Barbara's bed, wondering where she was.

He walked out of her room to find her sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee.

"Hello, did you have a good sleep?" she asked, and he stood like deer in headlights for a few seconds. It had been a very long time since someone had actually asked how he was feeling.

"Uh, yeah, thanks. I'm, um, my name's Gavin," he stuttered out, as she beckoned him over to sit with her.

"Okay Gavin, you want some coffee?"

"Tea, uh, please. Green."

"Coming right up!"

They say in silence for a few moments, the only sound being the water slowly boiling in Barbara's tea kettle, which was shaped like a cat.

_She must really like cats,_ Gavin thought, looking at her for the first time since he showed up in her house, smiling at her, hoping it didn't look forced.

She smiled back, her light blue eyes gleaming like diamonds, her blonde hair looking so soft Gavin wanted to touch it. Luckily, he has a thing called self-control, so he didn't.

"So, what's your job?" she asked, setting the tea next to him, in a yellow and orange mug.

Trying to take a sip and burning his tongue, he hurriedly set the mug down, almost spilling it. "I'm a cameraman. That's why I'm in Hollywood. Got a good offer and packed my stuff and headed down here. It a pretty easy job, and good pay."

"Well, you know my job, so no need to ask that. But, if it's good pay, if you don't mind me asking, why are you sleeping in a hotel?"

"Uh, well, I have a lot of money, but I don't want to set myself down in a apartment, so I stay in a hotel. Mostly cause the sets move around a lot, and I'd rather not be moving every few months," also buying a apartment reminded him of Dan and he can't deal with that right now.

Thankfully, she didn't press the matter, sitting down next to him, drinking her coffee.

Gavin found Barbara's presence very calming. She always had a witty comment or joke to lighten the mood, he felt calmer with her around. He didn't confide in her, and she respected that. They usually talked about everything and anything, mostly focusing around video games.

She was a very good friend, even though he's only known her for a few months.

Being alone for a few years made him forget how much he craved attention and affection.

It only took a few months for Gavin to start laying across Barbara while watching a movie, or for him to fall asleep on her shoulder, and it only only took another week after that for him to start giving her surprise hugs and tackles after one of them had a long day at work.

With Barbara, he felt the happiest he's been in years, maybe even decades. Not happy as in love, but happy as in platonic love. Barbara felt like the little sister he never had.

He was in pure bliss, until he got a phone call from England.

It had been his and Barbara's day off, and they were chilling at Baskin Robins when his phone rang, and a England phone code appeared.

"H-hello?" he stuttered out, thinking it was his relatives, or worse, Dan.

"You are an close friend of Daniel Gruchy right?"

"Well, used to be, yeah I guess."

"I'm sorry to say this sir, but Mr. Gruchy was killed in war in Afghanistan."

This rocked Gavin's world. Dan, dead? Strong, courageous, amazing, funny Dan was dead?

He managed to compose himself for a second, "R-really?"

"Yes, and I am very sorry sir. You are the only person listed on his contact list. Would you like for us to send you his dog tags and remains?"

"No! I mean, no. I-I don't have a lot of money right now, and-and he would probably have preferred to be buried in England. But, can I-can I have his-his dog tags?" he stuttered, Barbara silently leading him out of the ice cream shop and back to their apartment.

"Yes sir. Tell us your address, and they will be sent immediately."

Gavin complied and the army person hung up.

"Gav, are you okay?" Barbara asked, once they were inside her apartment.

He collapsed into her arms, sobbing. His best friend was dead.

Not like Dan cared about him anyway.

After that incident, they had grown much closer, strengthening the sibling bond that Gavin had felt earlier. She was a true solider to cry on, and her jokes made him happier than he ever had before.

Then, he noticed she was in love.

It had been very easy for him to find out when people have crushes or were in love, by certain ways they act that seem very discreet, but are very obvious to him.

Also, at the same time, she started hanging out with him more, dragging him to movie theaters, going to work with him, buying tea for him, and other things that seem overly nice.

He immediately imagined the worse. She was in love with him, and was getting ready to ask him out, and getting him to like her back by taking him to places together.

It was Jeremy all over again. 

But, this time, Gavin knew what to do.

He was going to leave. After what happened last time with Jeremy, he couldn't deal with another person in pain because of him. Besides, she'll get over him, and if he stays with her, she might never get over that.

The night Gavin left was left clear, the full moon and bright stars shining in the sky. It was a night he knew Barbara would gush  about, she probably would've dragged him out to look at them with her if she hadn't been busy tonight, working late or something, she didn't say much about what she was doing, just that she would be really late home.

So he left, leaving a note saying how he felt like he was burden and needed to go out and do more things with his life, with a short sentence wishing her love life the best and that he was sorry.

He never saw or heard from her ever again.

But, for the first few weeks after he left her, he couldn't go into a hotel, terrified that she would be there, yelling at him, telling him how awful he was, how he broke her heart.

Along with that, he couldn't get an apartment either, the only way he could was if he went with Barbara, and that option wasn't available right now.

So, he was homeless for a few weeks, or more, he wasn't very good at keeping track of dates.

It was a horrible expirence. He was an emotional wreck, and smelled awful, not being able to shower, and only having a few pairs of clothes. Meaning, he got barely any jobs, and the ones he got were small paying, at best.

He was hopeless.

Sitting on the sidewalk watching the cars fly by have him a thought. If he killed himself, he could be free. He could be relieved of stress and everything that was holding him down. He could be _free_.

Standing up, he ran across the road, feeling the pavement bounce underneath his feet, just as a truck was speeding down the highway. He stopped, waiting for the sweet release of death when he felt a hand pull him back, just as the car passed, blowing his unwashed hair in every direction.

"What was that, asshole?!? You just jumped into the road like you wanted to be killed!" his "savior" yelled at him, his face softening when he realized that was Gavin's goal in the first place. "You homeless?"

Gavin nodded, pointing to his stuff laying in a abandoned store's doorway.

The man grabbed his bags, "C'mon asshole, you're coming with me."

Gavin didn't have time to complain before he was being dragged along as well.

While he was being forced somewhere against his own will, he decided to get a good look at him.

He was very short, but that wasn't too surprising, Gavin was taller than everyone, and had a very soft face, but it had a very hardened edge underneath it. His hair was a mess of curls, a light-ish auburn-brown that could be mistaken as red in the right light. His eyes were brown, and seemed to be full kindness, even though his voice was sharp.

Suddenly, they stopped.

"Where are we?" Gavin asked, looking at the large condo the stranger had stopped in front of.

The stranger turned and smiled at him, "We're at my apartment. Now let's go dickhead."

In the elevator ride Gavin learned that the stranger's name was Michael, and that he lived in an apartment with four other people. Geoff, who was the oldest and a "minor" alcoholic, Jack was the second oldest and was the nicest, she was the 'mom friend', and according to Michael, totally in love with Geoff. Then there was Ryan, who was a "creepy bastard and a lame dad at the same time". Finally, there was Ray, the youngest, who was incredibly apathetic and addicted to his Ds, and #1 on every video game the boys had ever played. He also didn't really care about his gender, just kinda thought of himself as a boy-kinda-not-really, preferring the boys to use they/them or he/him, which Gavin understood, a few of his old friends were like that. Geoff was a movie producer, Jack was a waitress, Ryan was an accountant, Michael was a airplane pilot, and Ray was a charity worker for one of the charities in California. (Michael had no clue which one)

"I have one question, why are you taking me to your apartment?"

"Duh, cause you don't have one! And it's been really fucking boring at home, and you'll liven things up!"

"...I guess, and thanks for taking me in."

"No problem asshole! Plus you seem like a cool dude."

"Thanks."

"Oh, and once we get inside, we're shaving your beard. It looks fuckin' awful."

Gavin touched his beard, glad that Michael said that. He hated it.

The elevator dinged, and Gavin squawked, almost jumping into Michael's arms as the other man laughed.

"Let's just get you to my apartment before you end up having a heart attack," he joked, but Gavin half wished that would happen.

"Here we are, my apartment," he announced, opening the door, leading Gavin inside. "The guys are all at work, I flew in early."

The apartment was huge, double the size of Barbara's, and three times as fancy (Gavin wasn't saying Barbara's wasn't fancy, but this one was amazing). It had a large living room with a huge flatscreen tv covered in video games and their consoles. The kitchen had a million cupboards, each with their own label.

"Yeah, Ryan has major OCD with labeling things," Michael explained as Gavin was reading all of them, trying to soak everything in.

The bedrooms all had labels on them - Gavin wasn't surprised - but each name was in a different font, seemingly customized by the owner of the room. He wanted to go inside each one, but thought that was a pretty big invasion of privacy.

There was a door for the bathroom, and two guest rooms, the one closest to the bathroom was Gavin's, and he tossed his stuff in the room before finishing his tour.

The apartment's color scheme was black and green, with shades of grey, and with a fancy symbol on some of the items. When he asked why, Michael shrugged, "We just thought it looked cool," was his explanation.

"Now, go take a shower," Michael said immediately after the house tour.

"But Michael, I've already overstepped-"

Michael cut him off, "You haven't overstepped anything asshole! And stop staying my name weird with your stupid fucking British accent."

Gavin knew Michael wouldn't take "no" for a answer, his face had a stubborn look to it, "What, Michael? How do I bloody say that weird?"

"It's My-kel, not Mi-coo!"

"Whatever  _Micoo_ , I'm going to take a shower."

"Good, you reek."

Gavin was in the middle of showering when he heard voices that he didn't recognize. At first it sounded like polite conversation, then it turned into yelling, _a lot_ of yelling.

Quickly, he got out and threw his clothes on, along with his scarf. Not the clothes he was previously wearing, but others that Michael washed and had set next to the towel.

When he had gotten all his clothes on, brushed his hair, and made himself look decent, the yelling was louder now, but he could only pick up on a few words, and none of them made sense.

Walking out, he heard the last sentence before the yelling being hurriedly cut off, because Gavin was standing in front of the  yellers, Michael and someone with a black suit and a handlebar mustache.

"GEOFF HE TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF-" Michael was shouting to the other man, probably Geoff. He stopped immediately when Gavin appeared, lapsing into silence. The only sound was the bathroom door slowly closing, making a very soft clicking sound; but it roared in Gavin's ears.

The three men stood in silence for a few seconds, until someone else entered their minor standoff, a lady Gavin assumed was Jack.

Geoff, Michael? Who's this?" she asked, the two questioned at a loss for words.

"Uh, I'm Gavin, miss. Michael saved me from getting hit by a car, and let me stay the night. I'll be out of your hair by tomorrow morning," he stepped foreword, introducing himself. Plus, he knew he was only going to stay one night, they already had enough people living in this house, they didn't need a leech like him.

Michael finally broke from his dazed state, running up to Gavin and Jack, "Like hell you'll be leaving tomorrow morning! I brought you here for a reason, not just to be a good person! I want you to _stay_!"

"Yeah, Michael's been telling me about you, and even though you two had just met, I trust you. Plus, Michael's a pretty good judge of character," Geoff butted in, sending Gavin into a spiral.

_They want me? Scrawny, stupid me?_ He thought, a smile spreading across his face. And before he could change his mind, he let Jack sit him down in the living room, next to a small kid younger than all the others, with stringy black hair covered by a beanie, a purple jacket that looked almost as worn as his scarf, and black eyes fixated at the video game in front of him. Gavin assumed this was Ray.

"Ray" was playing Halo, and completely obliterating the other team too. Michael hadn't lied when he said he was good at video games.

So Gavin just watched him, listening to his personal commentary, staying silent. Geoff had come out giving them both a snack, and that was the only time Ray even payed attention to the world around him. But once Geoff left, he went immediately back to his game.

A few hours later, Gavin was poked awake, he had fallen asleep. "Hey, dude, time to go to your bed. Michael would've gotten you, but he crashed already. Get up," Ray whispered, his voice soft but ordering, and Gavin tiredly followed him back to his room, bidding the Puerto Rican (Michael had told him, and Gavin had heard Ray call himself the "Puerto Rican Thunder") goodnight.

When he awoke the next morning, he forgot where he was. In his mind, he was in a unfamiliar apartment, which he knew didn't belong to Dan or Barbara. He started freaking out. What if someone had kidnapped him and forced him into this apartment? What if Barbara had found him? What if Burnie had come back?

Gavin started hyperventilating, and he felt his muscles locking, trying to wrap his brain around and of the three ideas his brain had come up with. He could feel himself slowly slipping off the bed, but it didn't sink in. Everything around him seemed to blur into a illusion. Or maybe it was real, Gavin couldn't tell.

He saw Dan's eyes, Barbara's eyes, Burnie's eyes, Jeremy's eyes, and he swore he faintly heard Meg's laugh. He thought he was going to die.

That's where Michael found him, in a ball on the floor, crying and whispering their names.

"Hey, hey, Gav, are you okay?" Michael exclaimed, rushing over to the Brit.

Gavin didn't respond, only pushing Michael away, curling into an even smaller ball.

Michael frowned, he had no clue what was up with him. "Gavin, what's wrong? Do you want something to drink?" No response, just Gavin pushing Michael away even more.

He tried to hug Gavin, but that seemed to set him off even more, screaming out, "Barbara I'm sorry!" and jumping backwards, hitting his head against the dresser.

"Gavin, Gavin, can you hear me?" he tried, but the other man just cried more. It seemed that no matter what Michael did, he made it worse. "RYAN!" he called, and Gavin flinched.

Ryan came into Gavin's room, looking at Michael on the floor reaching out to Gavin, and the latter curled in a ball in tears.

Ryan knelt down, he knew what to do, "Hey, Gavin, how many fingers am I holding up?" he asked, holding two fingers up.

Gavin shifted, but still didn't answer.

"Okay Gavin, how many light bulbs are in his room?"

Gavin held up three fingers, his crying slowing down, but not stopping.

Ryan smiled, at least he was getting somewhere. "Now Gavin, how many people are in this room?"

He held up 2 fingers, then changed it to 3.

"Good job Gavin!" Michael butted in, and Gavin flinched. Ryan silenced him, ignoring the sad look on his face.

"Okay Gavin, I need to you breathe with me. You're going to hold our breath while I count to eight, then breathe out while I count down from eight. Okay?"

Gavin nodded.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. Breathe out now. 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1," they did that around 10 more times, and each time they did it the more relaxed Gavin became.

Finally his tears turned into sniffles, and he finally spoke, "S-sorry for worrying you, I-I don't know what came over me. I-I'm sorry,"

Ryan sighed, "You had a panic attack Gavin. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," he tried to stand up, but almost immediately his feet crumbled from under him.

Ryan shook his head, "You are not fine Gavin. I'm assuming this is the first time you've had a panic attack, yes?" Gavin nodded, "Okay, so, you'll probably have nightmares or something like that, and you defiantly will not be okay for at least a week. I'm going to carry you back to your bed, and get down food for you, okay?" Ryan carried the small boy to his bed, layer him down, but when he tried to leave, he felt a hand grab his arm.

"I don't wanna be alone," Gavin whispered, and Ryan nodded, slightly getting at why Gavin had panic attack in the first place.

Suddenly, Michael came in, and Ryan had an idea, "Michael, can you watch over Gavin while I get some medicine for him and make Geoff make some food for him?"

Michael nodded, "Sure Rye-bread, I'll stay right here,"

Ryan nodded, and left.

Gavin still wasn't too sure what just happened, but he felt insanely dizzy, especially when he tried to get up. Along with that, when Ryan tried to leave, everything turned hyper-realistic, and he started to feel really anxious all over again. Luckily Michael was talking about something or other, which helped Gavin focus on something, and bring himself back to reality.

After Michael's long story about how he punched poop, Gavin gave him a hug. "Thank you for everything."

"No problem bro, just being a good friend."

It was in that moment that he noticed that Barbara had never called him his friend. Sure she used other words like that, but she had never called him that. And to hear it from someone he just met, made him feel 100 times better.

"Okay Gavin, Geoff made some soup and Chamomile tea, I hope you like it," Ryan said, carrying a tray full of food for Gavin and Michael.

The two immediately dug into the food as Ryan left, and it's was gone around 30 minutes later, all except for the tea, which Gavin was sipping, since it almost burnt his tongue.

"Gav, you doing okay?" Michael finally asked after a few seconds of comfortable silence.

He nodded, "Yeah, I feel much better now. But my stomach had this eughhhh feeling in it, like I just threw up or something," he explained.

"Eughhhh feeling?"

"It's a real word! I think," Gavin protested, but when Michael exploded into laughter, he knew it wasn't a convincing definition. Besides, he's had Dan and Barbara question him on his word choice, so it wasn't a terribly new thing.

"Eughhh is not a real word Gavin," Michael said through laughter, wiping the tears away from his eyes.

"Whatever,"

The next week was pretty boring, mostly cause at every loud noise Gavin would jump, and if he tried to walk out of the apartment, his legs would turn all goopy and he would have to be lead back inside. It was embarrassing for him, but luckily the others were pretty nice. The only good thing is that he got to know the others more.

The few weeks after that was full of running around, doing more jobs than he had ever before. Geoff, without Gavin's knowledge, recommended him to every movie producer he knew, after watching a few episodes on Gavin's YouTube channel, The Slo-Mo Guys.

After waking up early for a interview that ended up being cancelled, Gavin walked back to the apartment, not knowing if anyone was around.

Luckily, Ray was chilling, playing another video game. "Hey Vav," he greeted, using Gavin's "superhero" nickname, while still not looking up from the game.

"What game are you playing X-Ray?" he asked, plopping himself on the couch, grabbing a controller.

"Halo, and I'd ask you to join, but I remember how well that went last time."

Gavin squawked incoherently, pouting. "It wasn't _my_ fault that you chose a horror game!"

"Yeah, but you were the one that threw the controller into the wall."

Just as Gavin was about to protest, Ryan walked in, setting his bags down, running a hand through his unkept hair. "Hey Gavin, Ray," he greeted, sitting down between the two.

"Bad day?" Gavin asked, Ray returning to his game as Ryan nodded.

He sighed, "It's not even taxes season and this dude keeps trying to do them! Then, when I try to explain that he has to do them in a few months instead of now, he curses me out! Why did I choose this job," he grumbles, sinking into the couch.

"Maybe you just have to shake some sense into him. Literally!" Gavin offered, earning a chuckle from the other man, "C'mon Rye-bread, don't let this guy get you down."

"You're using that name too?"

"Yep!"

"Anyway, why are you home early?"

Gavin stopped for a second, trying to remember why he was home, "Oh! The interview I was going to got cancelled, so I stopped for a snack and came home!" he exclaimed.

"Ahh, that makes since. Hey, are you doing okay? Is there anything bugging you?"

"Nope!" he answered, popping the "p". "I'm just glad that I can finally pay you guys rent for letting me stay here."

Ryan sighed, "Gav, you know that you don't owe us anything. Hell, you're pretty much apart of our family already!"

"But, I'm still someone that you picked up on the street only a few weeks ago. I'm intruding on your home and once I pay you guys back, then I'll stop."

Ryan open his mouth to argue, when Ray cut in, "Can you guys shut up? I'm trying to play a game here," and, the discussion ceased.

A few hours later, Gavin had finally managed to convince Ray to let him play Mario Kart with him, Jack and Geoff called.

"Hey Gavin! We decided to have dinner at Red Robin, and were wondering if you guys wanted to join us?" Geoff busted in, and Gavin jumped up. Once he caught his breath, Geoff whisked him Ray and Ryan out the door, where Jack was waiting patiently. Michael was over in Japan, otherwise he would've been there too.

"Hey, Gav, what do ya want?" Geoff asked once they managed to find a seat in the crowded restaurant.

Gavin looked over the menu, seeing nothing he recognized, "Uh, I dunno. I've never been here before, sorry," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, you'll just get what I order then," Ray declared, and it was decided.

Gavin barely ate a single thing, but it still was the best night he'd had in a long time.

After that was amazing. He finally felt at home, like he belonged, like he wasn't that _oblique_ thing in the middle of the road.

But, he didn't realize this until a few months later, when he was drinking. Not like he used to, when he would drink to forget, or dink to mask or create a feeling. He was drinking in happiness, trying a bunch of "girly" drinks based on a dare the Michael gave him, while telling a story about how one time Dan ordered a bunch of fruity drinks 'cause he thought they were free, and then the look on his face when he saw the bill! It was hilarious!

He also "accidentally" spilled a little bit of his drink on Ray, who was on their Ds (no surprise), sitting next to Ryan, the both of them not drinking. Apparently they thought the taste of beer was gross.

"Hey, Gavvy, you're a pretty cool dude, you know that right?" drunken Geoff slurred.

Michael laughed, spilling his drink slightly, "more like annoyingly cool!" he added, giving Gavin a nookie, which only succeeded in spilling a drink, which Ryan managed to save.

Gavin smiled, not really paying attention to it since he was so drunk, but the next day he managed to remember it. "Thanks old chaps!"

They partied for a few more hours, until Ray and Ryan carried the four of them back to their apartment, somehow managing to get all of them into their beds without anything too disastrous happening.

When Gavin woke up the next morning he was greeted with a roaring headache and pancakes on his nightstand, courtesy of Ryan.

He managed to craw out of his room, meeting up with Jack, who was laying on the couch with a bottle of Advil.

He sat next to her, groaning at the light, hiding himself in Jack's huge coat. Soon him and Jack were both fast asleep, laying in each other. When Gavin woke up he was covered in a blanket, and the other four were sleeping around him.

After that the six of them were almost inseparable. The couch pretty much became their hangout, where they would sleep, play Mario Kart, and eat.

Gavin finally felt at home.

Then he noticed something.

Ryan was in love with Ray.

It was quite obvious really. The way he would space out looking at the kid, how he would carry them to their room, how they would act like a mother, the little smile he had when he though no one was looking. He was head over heels in love.

Gavin knew he was right, because, as he had predicted a few days ago, Geoff and Jack had finally gone of their first date. It was super cute and Gavin helped Jack pick out her dress.

The important thing was that he had called it, and had won 20 bucks from Michael because of it.

But, what Gavin noticed almost immediately after he noticed that Ryan was in love with Ray was that Ray was in love with Michael.

It was quite confusing and Gavin had to double check what he was seeing to make sure. But he was right.

Ryan was in love with Ray, while Ray was in love with Michael.

Gavin knew in his heart that there was no way this would end with everyone happy, and he had no clue what to do. He saw Ryan going to Geoff for dating advice, and then Ray asked Gavin what Michael's favorite flowers were.

But, right when he answered Ray's question (Michael loves Hyacinths, surprisingly) he realized he had no clue who Michael liked.

So he started watching Michael more, asking Jack about it, cause she seemed to know everything, but he came up empty-handed. He just had no clue who Michael liked.

Then, one day he was surprised with Michael, who had 12 red roses, along with five sunflowers and five tulips. Immediately he had flashbacks of when Jeremy asked him out, and Gavin felt his knees become wobbly.

"Gav, I know I'm kinda mean to you, a lot, but I've really liked you for a few months now. Will you please go out with me?"

He didn't know what to say. If he said no, Michael would hate him and Gavin would probably get kicked out. If he said yes he'd be lying and have to fake a relationship.

"Yes."

The next few weeks were fun at first. Gavin didn't mind holding hands, or giving Michael kisses on the forehead or cheek, but anything other than that was uncomfortable. Michael was okay with it though, saying that Gavin could take his time, but that just made Gavin feel worse. He felt that he was leading Michael on, and that if he really cared for his friend he'd come out to him.

Gavin was torn. He had no clue what to do.

He decided to talk to the first person that came to his head, Jack. She was so caring and thoughtful, like a mom to him. If anyone would accept Gavin, he knew she would. Or, he hoped.

He decided to talk to her after she got off of work.

"Hey, Jack, can I talk to you about something?"

She set down her bags and sat on the couch next to him, luckily no one was around. "Sure Gavin, you can always talk to me."

Gavin looked down at his hands, he didn't know how to start this. Finally, he spoke, "Um, well, I'm asexual aromantic. I dunno if you know what that is, but asexual means I don't wanna have sex with anyone and aromantic means I don't want to have a romance with anyone so that means I don't like anyone but Michael likes me and I don't like him and I don't know what to do! Like am I leading him on or am I-"

Jack cut him off, "Gavin, slow down. Let me get this straight, you're asexual aromantic?" Gavin nodded, "I'm sorry Gav, but I think you're being too close-minded, I mean, I get that you don't like Michael, but that doesn't mean you don't like anyone! Maybe you're straight, and you just never thought about it until now? Or, maybe you just haven't met the right one yet. I know this is a hard concept to think about, but you just need to open your eyes to different sexualities and genders in the world, instead of making up your own."

Gavin froze thinking over what she just said. It hit him that she had no clue what he was talking about. Tears started to billow up in his eyes when he realized he might truly be alone, "Yeah Jack, you might be right. I think I'm gonna think about that for a bit, then maybe break up with Michael. Thanks for your help!" He forced out, thankful for all the times he had to fake a smile for years on end.

When he made it to his room he broke apart into tears. The one person he thought would believe him didn't. And they even said that he was just making it up. Gavin couldn't handle it, he thought that Jack could understand it, to, at least sympathize with him. Instead she had said he was being close-minded, that he had just made it up to be special or something.

Maybe he should ask someone else.

He thought about it for a while. Who would listen to him. Michael? No, he'd probably just get angry. Geoff? Nope, if Jack didn't understand he defiantly wouldn't. Ryan? Maybe, but he seemed to be busy trying ask Ray out, which Gavin hoped was working. That left Ray, which he realized was probably the best candidate. He was the only non-cis person here, and the person most understanding out of everyone, except Jack.

So, Gavin formed a plan. He printed out little cards that explained what asexual aromantic was, so he wouldn't have to say a lot, and worked out every possibility and everything he might have to say. By the time he was ready, everyone had come home, and it was the break between getting off of work and dinner.

Building up confidence, Gavin walked to Ray's room.

Just as he was about to open the door Ryan burst out, tears in his eyes. He shouldered past Gavin, mumbling a "excuse me" and practically ran to his room. Confused, Gavin hesitantly opened the door, seeing Ray sitting on his bed.

"Hey Ray, can I talk to you about something?" he asked, and they looked up, nodded, and patted the bed, and Gabin moved over to sit down.

"So, I was going to do a long drawn out thing but instead I put them into these nice-looking cards for you to read!"

Ray grabbed them and read it, as Gavin nervously watched him, trying to read him reaction. The small cards had three pages each, and had small stick figures cause Gavin can't draw for shit. He tried to make it happy and cute, and even considered donating them to some asexual and aromantic awareness once he came out to everyone.

He was thinking about where and how he would donate them when he heard the ripping of paper. Startled, he looked at Ray, who had ripped up the cards, and was currently tearing them into tiny pieces.

"R-Ray, what are you doing?" he stuttered out, tears forming in his eyes as Ray looked at him.

"Gavin, stop with this bullshit. You're dating Michael, one of the most beautiful, wonderful, sweetest people that have ever existed on this Earth and you try to come up with some fucked up excuse on why you don't like him so you won't hurt his feelings? Face it Gavin, you are just broken. Just one fucked up, asshole, shit-face, _broken_ bitch. Get out of my room!" Ray yelled angrily, throwing the torn up pieces on the ground. Gavin sprinted out, running and slamming the door to his own room, collapsing on the bed.

Maybe Ray was right. Maybe he was just broken. Maybe he didn't deserve Michael. Maybe he didn't deserve anyone.

Gavin shut himself up in his room, and didn't eat, the plate Michael left him remained untouched as Gavin sunk deeper and deeper into his thoughts.

All his life people had just abandoned him, or fell in love with him, no matter how much he tried to make people stay, or how much he tried just to keep a friendship. He had thought it had something to do with his exterior, what he looked like, how he acted.

Maybe it was it personality. Maybe he was just an awful person who didn't deserve love. 

Now that he thought about it, the more he realized how Geoff and the others had started to drift away from him. Maybe they finally realized that he didn't deserve any love and kindness. It would be the best.

But Gavin knew that he didn't want them to be faced with the difficult choice of kicking him out or letting him parasite off of them for longer.

He knew what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn!!!! What's gonna happen??


	3. Vacant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Tw for Suicide**
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Kinda tying up the loose ends for the last chapter!!! 
> 
> Enjoy!

**_Vacant_ **

_Happiness never lasted long in Gavin's life, he knew that. It always ended in tears and screams. Why did he think this time would be any different. It wasn't._   
  
Much like he did with Barbara, Gavin decided to sneak out, to leave.

But this time, he had a plan.

He waited until everyone had left that morning, saying he felt sick, until he put his plan into actions.

First, put a letter on each of their beds explaining what was happening and to apologize.

Next, leave and lock the door, and make sure none of them come back home. At this point Gavin almost turned back, remembering all the good things that happened, but he quickly shook away that thought. It was just like Barbara, he's down this before, no worries.

Finally, check into the hotel he had reserved the night before. His plan was to stay for a week, then get over his fear of apartments and stay there. Luckily, he didn't have a lot of bags, so it wasn't hard to lug his suitcase all the way to the hotel, titled Amor Perierunt, which meant something stupid in Latin, but Gavin had no clue.

One he unpacked everything in his hotel, he thought over his decision. He hoped Michael would understand, and that Ray or Jack wouldn't blame themselves. He also hoped Ryan would feel better, and nothing bad happened to Geoff.

He went to work the next day, at a new shoot, a movie about a couple (straight, of course) who lost each other in the apocalypse, and their journey I finding each other. The movie is split into two parts, one on the guy's perspective, the other on the girl's. But, Gavin himself didn't care.

His coworkers were very rude, he noted, teasing other workers, and messing with the set and makeup. Gavin didn't really mind, he had seen this before, and guys like this would either get kicked out or learn to follow the rules.

"Hey, loaner," they taunted to Gavin the next day during set up while Gavin was tweaking the lights.

"What do you want?" he asked, trying to remember their names. He believed the taller one's named started with an M, and the shorter one started with a K.

The taller one who had brown hair and brown eyes glared at him, "Is it true you fucked and dumped Jeremy Dooley?"

Gavin froze. He hadn't thought about Jeremy in years. Suddenly it all came rushing back on how he completely destroyed him, "I d-don't know what you're talking about," he stuttered out finally, and the two grinned wickedly.

"I knew someone did, but this bitch? He must give good dick if Jeremy was so hung up about it," the shorter one, with blonde hair and brown eyes guffawed.

"I did no such thing, and anyway, you two need to stop sucking each other's dicks and start actually doing work. Yeah, I know what you two do in the back during lunch," he retorted, adding the last comment when he saw the look on their faces.

The taller became angry, the shorter embarrassed, "Yeah, well, if you treat people like you treated Jeremy, there's no wonder no one likes you!" the taller added before they left, leaving Gavin in shock.

He knew he treated Jeremy badly, and that was his fault, but does he really treat everyone awful? He thought about his past experiences, and all the people he met. They either left him, or he left them.

Oh my God, he is a awful person!

Gavin felt sick to his stomach. He excused himself and went to the bathroom, where he threw up his small lunch. Then be headed back to the hotel.

The rest of the week he was in some sort of limbo, thinking about how he could apologize or be a better person. More than one he picked up a razor, but was too weak to do anything.

Finally he made a plan. But, he knew this one had a good ending, unlike the last one.

First, leave a letter for the others, along with a note to Barbara. He mailed it to them, along with a few packages that he hoped arrived soon after his plan ended.

Next, travel to Monterey, around five hours from Hollywood, but Gavin had time. He had already set up the bus routes and defiantly had enough money, so he didn't worry.

The only problem was waiting. Five hours was a long time, even for Gavin. Plus, he wasn't the most patient person.

Luckily, the landscape was pretty, and he spent most of his time taking pictures and thinking about his plan over and over again. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost missed his stop. Thankfully he made it.

Next part was to walk. Just to walk to find his destination. Gavin decided to not use Siri or any map, just ask people where he was. When people asked why he was going there, he said that he was planning to meet a friend.

Finally, after a half an hour of walking, he made it. Bixby Creek Bridge. Looking down at the ocean Gavin smiled.

Now, the final part of his plan. Gavin took a deep breath, and jumped off. He heard people scream, but it couldn't have been for him. No one cared about him.

That was the last thought he had before he plunged into the rushing waves and never resurfaced.

~~~~

_Dear Geoff, Michael, Ray, Ryan, and Jack,_

_I'm sure you guys are very confused. Why would I send a letter and packages to you guys after just leaving? Well, that's what this letter is about._

_Hopefully, if you're reading this, I'm dead. My plan is to jump off of Bixby Creek Bridge in Monterey, around five hours from here._

_Don't worry, I've planned this out. I've thought about this for around a week, though, I've thought about death for almost my entire life._

_Guess I finally grew some balls, huh?_

_Anyway, I just want to thank you all of being the best things that have ever happened in my life. You were all wonderful people, and that's my one regret, never telling you guys how amazing you all are._

_Inside the boxes are the items I wish to give you all. I won't tell you what's in them, it has to be a surprise._

_There is also another letter, which I hope can be sent to Barbara Dunkelmen. If you can't, that's okay._

_Please, please, don't blame yourself. I know you will try, but this is no one's fault but mine._

_I have another request. Please don't have a funeral. I don't know if you wanted to, probably not, but I have to be careful. I just want to be cremated._

_Thank you for putting up with me. I'm sorry._

_Love,  
Gavin_

~~~~

When Jack finished reading the letter everyone was silent. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

None of them knew what to say. For the first time in any of their lives, they were speechless.

Geoff was the first to move. He slowly opened up the packages, and distributed the packages to everyone, saving the letter to Barbara, planning to look her up later.

They all got in a circle and individually opened them.

Michael went first. He almost couldn't see the package through his tears. His box was small, and a rusty orange color. Inside was a jewelry box. He hesitantly opened it, and released a choked sob when he saw what was inside. There were two necklaces, one with a creeper head, and one with Banjo's head, Gavin and Michael's character skins in Minecraft.

It was Ray's turn next. He almost didn't open it, remembering his last words to him. The box was a dark purple-blue, which reminded him of the sky. Inside was a Xbox controller, that was a light purple color, to match his favorite beanie. Tears filled his vision.

Then it was Ryan's turn. His box was a rich blue, and was perfectly symmetrical. Inside, was a light blue label-maker, much different from the incredibly old one he had been using. After he pulled it out, he almost broke into tears, but stayed strong, for Gavin.

Jack went next, and as she looked at the box, the more she thought over the last words she said to him, and she realized how wrong she had been. Her box was a reddish-orange, matching her hair. Inside was a brown handbag, that she realized was worth thousands of dollars. Inside the bag, she noticed, was something. She opened up all the pockets to find pictures of all six of them together, along with DVDs with different dates on them. Jack felt tears well up in her eyes as she buried he head in Geoff's shoulder.

Finally, it was Geoff's turn. His box was a grayish-green, which he remembered that was what Gavin said he eyes were colored. He broke open the box to find a bottle of whisky, which looked to be almost a century old. Cracking it open, he passed it around, and everyone drank some, even Ray and Ryan.

The police found his body a few weeks after he jumped. Geoff and the others raced to the hospital to identify the body. They then cremated him. His remains were separated in six parts. Five would go back into the boxes that he sent to others, and go in their individual rooms. The last part went back to England, to be spread in his home town.

Gavin was finally at peace, and, no matter how much he wanted to deny it, he had left his mark on the world, in more than one way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last chapter and then this story is finished, for now. I really hope you all enjoyed this so far!!!
> 
> Next Chapter hoes back in time, back when Gavin was back in England. 
> 
> Stay tuned!


	4. Empty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter is up and running!! I hope you enjoy this final installment of the LOVE series!

**_Empty_ **

_Let's go back, back before he met Michael, before he met Barbara, before he met Burnie. Let's go back to right after Dan left, and watch Gavin try to pick up the crumbling pieces in his life._

After Dan left, Gavin had no one for the longest time. Then he met Meg. She was everything he wasn't. Beautiful, funny, clever, creative and happy, along with the fact that she was the only person who had an American accent.

They both worked at Rwby, a club owned by Monty, a quiet but polite man, who Gavin had grown very close to. She was always a enigma, nicknamed "Dollface", and Monty's number one most requested worker. Gavin, even though he wasn't attracted to her, found he the most aesthetically pleasing out of all of the others.

They had met a few weeks after Dan left, once Gavin had finally gone back to work. He was taking a break for a week or two, but, once he got a new apartment, he realized he needed more money.

"Hey, you're "Golden Boy", right?" she asked one evening, using the nickname that had become incredibly common recently. He nodded. "Well, I had been noticing that you've been in the dumps lately, so how about we go and have a little fun? Not sex, we get enough of that here. I have a different idea." she grabbed his hand, and led him up the stairs to the rooftops.

Gavin glanced around, confused, "What're we doing up here?"

She smiled, "I'm going to show you how to really have fun. You've ever heard of parkour?"

Gavin shook his head. He knew it had to do with jumping around stuff, but that was about it.

"Well, you stand up, over here, right on the edge. Then, you get a running start, and jump!"

She backed up, and ran at the edge, and right when she got to it, she jumped, soaring over the alley and landing on the other side. She looked like a swan, or a superhero. Gavin was in awe.

"C'mon Golden Boy, your turn!!" she cheered from the other side.

Gavin shook his head, "Uh, Dollface, I think this is a little too dangerous for me. I might die!" he called back.

"Do you know what we do for a living? Pretty much all of us are wishing for death anyway. Grow a pair and get over here!!"

Gavin though about it. She was right, so, he decided to give it a shot.

He slowly backed up, and sprinted at the edge. When he finally got there, he jumped, and soared over the alley, scarf blowing in the breeze. Once he made it over to the other side, he gave Meg a hug.

"That was amazing!!!" he panted out, pumped up with adrenaline. She laughed, and for the rest of the night, the two of them jumped over building all night, and even till the next morning, watching the sunrise together.

It became a pastime for the two of them, a place where they can let go and forget about everything that was harassing them for a few hours.

Soon, they shared phone numbers and would text until the wee hours in the morning. They usually talked about their favorite television shows, but the later it got, the more they opened up to each other. Soon, they became therapy buddies, sharing stories about how broken or how sad they felt.

Gavin learned that Meg had ran away to England from her parents at a young age because they were abusive, and Meg learned that Gavin was asexual aromantic, which she happily accepted, since she was pansexual panromantic.

A few months later Meg was sick, and Monty gave Gavin her paycheck and address, so he could give it to her.

He walked to her apartment (it actually wasn't too far from Rwby), and knocked on the door. He heard scuffling and the door slowly creaked open.

At first, it looked like there was no one there, but Gavin looked down to see a small child, in a bright pink dress.

He didn't know Meg had a kid. Maybe he got the wrong address? But Monty gave him the address, and Monty was never wrong. Gavin almost left, but the kid was still patiently staring at him, so he decided to give it a shot.

He bent down, "Hello sweetie, is your Mommy home?" he asked, and they nodded, grabbing his hand and pulling him  inside.

He was dragged past the drab kitchen and into the last room, which was covered in blue stickers with the word 'Mommy' written in big letters by a child. The child opened the door and ran in.

Gavin peaked in to see Meg's familiar blue hair (she dyed it last week) laying in the bed, the kid sitting in her lap.

"Gavin, what're you doing here?" she asked, hurriedly sitting up in bed. He moved over next to her and made her lay back down.

"Just here to drop off your paycheck, love. Now, who's this cutie? I didn't know you had a kid," he gave her the check.

Meg looked between him and her kid, contemplating something when she sighed. "His name is Gabriel, and he's an angel. He's two, and in love with dresses and tutus. His dad was a client or something, I don't know, but I'm trying my best to make sure he eats," she explained, and picked Gabriel up before coughing horribly.

"Woah, woah, Meg, slow down. How about I take care of Gabriel while you're sick? If he gets sick, it won't be pretty. I have the week off, so I'll be over every day. I actually have some cough medicine at my apartment, I'll be right back." he sprinted off, and showed up a few minutes later with some medicine that Meg inhaled.

The next few weeks Gavin took care of both Meg and Gabriel until she felt better. After that, whenever Gavin showed up to visit, he was bombarded with hugs from Gabe, who he had grown quite close to.

Then, he was saved by Burnie, who offered to take him out of England and to America. Immediately he called Meg, and told her the news, begging her to come join him with Gabe.

"Gavin," she said, "I appreciate that you asked me to join you, but there's a reason I left America. It just wasn't for me. This is _your_ calling, Gav, not mine. But, I promise to text you every day, and Gabe will try to call you once a week. Good luck." she explained, and Gavin tried to protest, but he was shushed.

And she followed through with the promise. For the first few months that Gavin was in America, they texted every day (or night, depended on your time zone) and Gabriel called Gavin every other week, explaining what elementary school was like.

Then, they just stopped. Gavin texted Meg, and she never answered. So he waited. And waited. And waited. Then he called her, and no one answered.

The last thing he texted her was:

_Idk if you even care about me anymore, but I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being the coolest and closest friend I ever had after Dan left. Goodbye._

She never answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end!!! I hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> End of the introduction!! The next chapter will be posted in a few days or so, but it's significantly longer, so be prepared.


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